There is a feeling that there is no one to talk heart to heart with?On your birthday, only automatic mailing lists congratulate you?It looks like you somehow imperceptibly lost your friends.What’s wrong?Psychologist and psychotherapist Amy Morin explains.
1. You complain all the time.
As soon as you meet a friend, you immediately begin to pour out your soul to him: the work got it, there is no money, life is so unfair … And so on and so forth.Whineers annoy everyone – that’s why people don’t want to spend time with you.Try to be a more positive person and find other interesting topics to talk about.
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2. You forget about friends when you start a new relationship.
The girl / boy is, of course, great.But no one in the world likes it when you “give it up” – and your buddies are no exception.Sooner or later they will just forget about you.Try to find a balance between personal life and friendships.
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3. You are too selfish
Friendship means that you not only take something, but also give something in return (trust me, this is true, even if you don’t feel it).If you always do what you want, when you want, even the best friend can’t stand it forever.
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4. You are not interested in the lives of your friends.
If you are too lazy to be aware of how your friends live, sooner or later they will turn their backs on you – someone else’s indifference upsets everyone and always.Show your interest – after all, after all, these are people who care about you!
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5. You are nothing but problems
If you offend other people, do not know how to keep secrets, or deliberately provoke a person, many will eventually decide that communicating with you is more expensive for themselves.
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6. You constantly count
Who should pay the bill today, who should call first this time… Believe me – this “math” has nothing to do with friendship.People don’t like robots.Do not try to do everything right – focus on communication.
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7. You are jealous
If you feel jealous when your friend buys a new car / gets a promotion / starts a new relationship, it will almost certainly lead to problems – jealousy is very hard to hide, sooner or later you will give yourself away.It is very important to celebrate with friends their successes and really rejoice in them.
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8. You expect too much from your friends.
If you think that your buddies should always be in touch and fulfill your every request, we have bad news.In real life, friends sometimes hurt your feelings and disappoint you.There’s nothing to be done – it happens, we are all imperfect.Forgive them and you will feel much better.
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9. You gossip
If you endlessly discuss someone, people will sooner or later decide (guess?) that you are washing the bones for them too.To avoid this, do not speak negatively about others and do not spread rumors, and also show the interlocutor that you can be trusted with any information, because you are the “grave”.
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10. You go too far
Making fun of friends is a completely normal thing to do.But it is no secret that sometimes people – imperceptibly for themselves – cross the line and begin to say and do things that are frankly offensive to the interlocutor, which are no longer perceived as a joke.Respect other people’s feelings and build healthy relationships with them.
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11. You don’t go anywhere
It is possible that the lack of friends is not because you have a bad character, but because you just sit at home and do not get to know anyone.Find a company of interest, sign up for some classes – and the problem will eventually be solved by itself.
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